52 Week Happy Family Challenge #4: Be Responsible

Responsibility. Another one of those big words that parents throw around with their kids and don't actually teach them what it means. This post will be brief since it's actually the end of the week and my munchkins are rising, but in my opinion it means a couple of different things.

One, I think it means that you have something that is your job to get done. This is why my kids have had chores since they were 2. They evolve and they get minuscule amounts of money for doing some of them, but they are theirs to do. If they don't do them on their own, the kids are talked to about the consequences of not doing the job.

Second, I think responsibility means that when you do something wrong you own up to it and do your best to fix it.  This week we put this into practice by having Little Man write an apology note to his teacher for misbehaving one day. We also talk about consequences here and include our kids in their consequence choosing.

Many, many ideas are out there for teaching responsibility so take some time to look them up and this week Be Responsibile.

52 Week Happy Family Challenge Week 3: Tolerance

Tolerance is a noun defined as the willingness to accept feelings, habits, or beliefs that are different from your own.  On this Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, I couldn't think of a better word to teach my children about.

Tolerance for me isn't all about race or gender or sexual orientation...in fact I don't think tolerance for me is about any of that except that people tend to have polarized views about these topics. For me tolerance is acceptance. 

We have to accept that not everyone will ever believe the same way we do, nor should they. We can discuss these differences and agree to disagree on issues and still commune at the same table because we understand how to tolerate other beliefs.

In a family setting, I'm reminded of being tolerant of my children every time I turn off the tv and my Little Man begins to cry because he doesn't agree with my beliefs that too much tv is bad for us.  My children have to be tolerant of my newest way to keep us healthy and happy. I have to be tolerant of their belief that just because they are done with one toy doesn't mean they have to clean it up right then.

Tolerance doesn't mean though, that we become complacent in our beliefs and just resign ourselves to that we can't make a difference or change the world.  "Tolerance implies no lack of commitment to one's own beliefs. Rather it condemns the oppression or persecution of others."

John F. Kennedy

It doesn't mean that I allow my kids to create a huge mess and leave it that way forever.  It means that I am understanding of their beliefs and I gently mold their views and allow them to mold my views until we find a place where we can live in harmony.

For this week my family will continue to work on peace, generosity, and add in tolerance because it's the right way to live. Join us in week 3 of our happy family challenge and share your successes and challenges, either here, on twitter using #HFC or #tolerance, Facebook or Instagram, showing how your family can...Be Tolerant!

52 Week Happy Family Challenge #2: Be Generous

Generous is an adjective and is defined by Merriam-Webster as 

• : freely giving or sharing money and other valuable things
• : providing more than the amount that is needed or normal : abundantor ample
• : showing kindness and concern for others

II asked Little Man what word we should focus on and before I even finished my question he blurted out generosity. Now granted, I think it probably has something to do with the fact that this is the life principle he is learning about at school. Nonetheless I was astonished and a bit perplexed about how I could teach about generosity in the context of creating a happier family. I kept thinking of generosity as giving money or food or clothes. So, I did what every good mom does when they don't understand how to do something and I researched it...starting with the definition. 

The last definition struck me. I had never thought about generosity as showing kindness and concern for others. To me generosity always had to do with giving tangible items. This definition seems to be saying that a person can be generous with their being, their heart. And what a perfect thing for families to work on...showing kindness and concern.

It's Monday morning, we overslept, and spilt coffee on our clothes. Not to mention that little Sally won't get in the car because she can't locate her favorite doll to bring along. You all know the strongest temptation is to pick her up, throw her in the car and get moving whether she likes it or not. Maybe instead we could continue our patience from last week and be generous by finding the ever so important doll.

You're playing outside and little Joe falls and scrapes his knee. The world is now ending and the screams are murderous. You're inclination is to tell him to hop up and walk it off. After all, "boys don't cry." Maybe instead you could affirm the initial pain and show genuine concern for what seems like a big hurt for little Joe. 

We will focus this week on being generous in our house. I will use every teaching moment I can to help my family show kindness and concern and...Be Generous!

This picture is an example of how a friend showed us generosity this week.

52 Week Happy Family Challenge #1: Be Patient

Patience as defined by Merriam-Webster is the habit of being able to remain calm and not become annoyed when waiting for a long time or when dealing with problems or people. Wow! This is a biggie for my family. Half of our time, my husband or I are singing the be patient song or asking our kids to show patience. The other half of the time we are rushing our kids out the door to the next thing, using the words hurry up to an excess. No wonder our children are impatient. We model impatience with them tons throughout every day. 

I also never thought about having patience with a person but it makes sense. The Rev. has a pillow that says, "be patient, God isn't finished with me yet." I never paid much attention to it until I began to realize just how impatient I've been with myself, my husband, and my kids.

So, this week I make the conscious effort to start everything a little bit earlier to give the kids more time. I will count to five before reacting to situations that are frustrating (maybe 10 or 20 depending in what happens). I will require patience in our home because, "love is patient," so by being patient, I must be showing love.

52 Week Happy Family Challenge

I am feeling very ambitious on this first day of the new year.  2013 was so emotionally draining from very scary health problems to financial struggles, job changes to loved ones dying, and day to day pain from people that should be kind, loving, and nurturing. With most of those situations being under control now and the grief being managed, I'm ready for a great year!

One of my ambitions this year is to create  a closer family bond. Everyone in my family seemed to have a short temper this past year and I want to do everything I can to build our relationships even more!  I'm hoping to do this by setting a new goal for our family for each week. The idea would be to continue that goal as the weeks go on. Keep an eye on the blog for what our goal is each week and try it with your family too. Let me know how it's working for you and I'll keep you posted about my success or non-success. I'll be starting on Sunday! I'm so excited!!

Spontaneous Saturday

The weather forecast stated that the high today would be 60 degrees. The high for tomorrow is 30 degrees. Obviously I had to drag my family out of the house today since I know tomorrow we will be tucked safely in our heated house under a pile of blankets.

We started our day off at a cute little German restaurant for breakfast. They have a buffet that I love because it includes homemade sausage, pastries, waffles, biscuits, and some yummy not homemade eggs. Also they have freshly made breads and sweet treats for after breakfast.  Today we had an extra special treat.

A life size gingerbread house. Yes it is real gingerbread...using 50 pounds of royal icing!

We then rolled ourselves out to the car and opted for a hiking adventure at our favorite outdoor getaway. We drove an hour to get there and as we pulled into the state park realized there was still snow and ice on the side of the road.  We braved the elements anyway and began our hiking adventure. We found places of pure sheets of ice and, found ourselves skating, dancing, and laughing on the slippery slopes. Because of the bare trees and higher water levels, we were able to see a spring that is rarely visible!

After hiking our normal route, we decided for a path we hadn't traveled before.  It was beautiful, scenic and ridiculously muddy. A couple of times we blazed our own path to get out of the mud. The Rev. even slipped on some ice and almost fell down the side of a bluff carrying our daughter. (Luckily all are fine) When we got to the top, the kids were amazed at how much they could see.  Little Miss said, "Momma, I can see everything up here."  It made me a little sad to realize that my kids had never before experienced the awe of standing on top of a mountain (or a 30 foot bluff/plateau thing). They were also introduced to cacti which completely freaked out Little Miss.

Then we headed into one of our favorite small town diners for dinner. We ate in a back room with our very own fire!  It was wonderful and reminded me of how important it is to get out of the house whenever possible. No laundry got done, the dishes are still in the sink, the floor needs to be vacuumed but today was more important than any of those things. If that means outside people are going to judge my disheveled home, then so be it!  My time with my children is limited and I choose to cherish these moments!

Intentional Advent

Who doesn't love Christmas? All the presents, caroling, hustle, bustle and general excitement in the air. There's Santa, reindeer, elves and maybe even some snow.

And the parties...oh, the parties. There are work parties, church parties, friend parties and family parties. Sometimes there are multiple parties of each kind not to mention a school party for every child you have. And, of course, you have to make each one...it is a part of the season after all.

Then there are the people. People of all kinds come out at Christmas.  People that cut in lines to get the cheapest TV. People that come out of the mall after spending thousands of dollars and walk past the carolers at the red Salvation Army buckets. People that worry about getting every person they know a gift but don't think to donate food to a local food pantry or stick a toy in the toys for tots box.  Many of the people call theirselves Christians. They are the same people that demand schools be able to keep Christ in Christmas or put up signs saying "Jesus is the reason for the season," but they miss the point. The point isn't so much about the birth of baby Jesus and buying gifts for everyone to open on that one designated day, but more about preparing for the birth by readying our heart, mind, and soul for the coming of our Savior by remembering and living life like Him.

With this feeling already nagging at me in November and realizing that advent would be short this year, I vowed to make my season of advent mean more.  I decided to do this by taking the themes for each week of advent and posting a picture on Facebook that illustrated that theme in my life. The process has made my advent season mean so much more.  It seemed as though my life actually embodied the themes of hope, peace, joy, and love without any extra help or hard work. I have been preparing for the birth of my Savior and treasuring every moment along the way.

It's been very intentional. Intentionally preparing for the hope that Christ's birth brought, and continues to bring, to a world and individuals lost in poverty, hunger, sorrow or pain.  Intentionally preparing for the peace that Christ's birth brought, and continues to bring, to a world and individuals struggling with hate, violence, mental illness, or angst. Intentionally preparing for the joy that Christ's birth brought, and continues to bring, to a world and individuals focused on the negative, money, or gaining power. Intentionally preparing for the love that Christ's birth brought, and continues to bring, to a world and individuals no matter who they were or what situation they found theirselves in. Period. 

Make your advent intentional. Maybe you look up a different scripture each day of the week that uses the theme word for the week. Maybe you light the advent candle for the week and pray about how the theme fits in your life. Maybe you create a daily photo blog that shows where you saw the theme in your daily life. Whatever you might decide to do, be intentional about preparing for the hope, peace, joy, and love that Jesus brings to us.