Spontaneous Saturday

The weather forecast stated that the high today would be 60 degrees. The high for tomorrow is 30 degrees. Obviously I had to drag my family out of the house today since I know tomorrow we will be tucked safely in our heated house under a pile of blankets.

We started our day off at a cute little German restaurant for breakfast. They have a buffet that I love because it includes homemade sausage, pastries, waffles, biscuits, and some yummy not homemade eggs. Also they have freshly made breads and sweet treats for after breakfast.  Today we had an extra special treat.

A life size gingerbread house. Yes it is real gingerbread...using 50 pounds of royal icing!

We then rolled ourselves out to the car and opted for a hiking adventure at our favorite outdoor getaway. We drove an hour to get there and as we pulled into the state park realized there was still snow and ice on the side of the road.  We braved the elements anyway and began our hiking adventure. We found places of pure sheets of ice and, found ourselves skating, dancing, and laughing on the slippery slopes. Because of the bare trees and higher water levels, we were able to see a spring that is rarely visible!

After hiking our normal route, we decided for a path we hadn't traveled before.  It was beautiful, scenic and ridiculously muddy. A couple of times we blazed our own path to get out of the mud. The Rev. even slipped on some ice and almost fell down the side of a bluff carrying our daughter. (Luckily all are fine) When we got to the top, the kids were amazed at how much they could see.  Little Miss said, "Momma, I can see everything up here."  It made me a little sad to realize that my kids had never before experienced the awe of standing on top of a mountain (or a 30 foot bluff/plateau thing). They were also introduced to cacti which completely freaked out Little Miss.

Then we headed into one of our favorite small town diners for dinner. We ate in a back room with our very own fire!  It was wonderful and reminded me of how important it is to get out of the house whenever possible. No laundry got done, the dishes are still in the sink, the floor needs to be vacuumed but today was more important than any of those things. If that means outside people are going to judge my disheveled home, then so be it!  My time with my children is limited and I choose to cherish these moments!

Intentional Advent

Who doesn't love Christmas? All the presents, caroling, hustle, bustle and general excitement in the air. There's Santa, reindeer, elves and maybe even some snow.

And the parties...oh, the parties. There are work parties, church parties, friend parties and family parties. Sometimes there are multiple parties of each kind not to mention a school party for every child you have. And, of course, you have to make each one...it is a part of the season after all.

Then there are the people. People of all kinds come out at Christmas.  People that cut in lines to get the cheapest TV. People that come out of the mall after spending thousands of dollars and walk past the carolers at the red Salvation Army buckets. People that worry about getting every person they know a gift but don't think to donate food to a local food pantry or stick a toy in the toys for tots box.  Many of the people call theirselves Christians. They are the same people that demand schools be able to keep Christ in Christmas or put up signs saying "Jesus is the reason for the season," but they miss the point. The point isn't so much about the birth of baby Jesus and buying gifts for everyone to open on that one designated day, but more about preparing for the birth by readying our heart, mind, and soul for the coming of our Savior by remembering and living life like Him.

With this feeling already nagging at me in November and realizing that advent would be short this year, I vowed to make my season of advent mean more.  I decided to do this by taking the themes for each week of advent and posting a picture on Facebook that illustrated that theme in my life. The process has made my advent season mean so much more.  It seemed as though my life actually embodied the themes of hope, peace, joy, and love without any extra help or hard work. I have been preparing for the birth of my Savior and treasuring every moment along the way.

It's been very intentional. Intentionally preparing for the hope that Christ's birth brought, and continues to bring, to a world and individuals lost in poverty, hunger, sorrow or pain.  Intentionally preparing for the peace that Christ's birth brought, and continues to bring, to a world and individuals struggling with hate, violence, mental illness, or angst. Intentionally preparing for the joy that Christ's birth brought, and continues to bring, to a world and individuals focused on the negative, money, or gaining power. Intentionally preparing for the love that Christ's birth brought, and continues to bring, to a world and individuals no matter who they were or what situation they found theirselves in. Period. 

Make your advent intentional. Maybe you look up a different scripture each day of the week that uses the theme word for the week. Maybe you light the advent candle for the week and pray about how the theme fits in your life. Maybe you create a daily photo blog that shows where you saw the theme in your daily life. Whatever you might decide to do, be intentional about preparing for the hope, peace, joy, and love that Jesus brings to us.

Attitude Makes the Difference

I tell my students constantly that they have to choose their attitude. I will march them out the door and tell them when they can have a better attitude about my class they are welcome to return.  I need to take note.

I have been moping around this year from the beginning because life has taken its toll on me. A seemingly constant stream of small negative things has shaped my vision of the year to be that it sucks and nothing good is going to happen.  It's time to change the attitude.

It's more difficult than I've thought before when using the phrase with my students. It seems so easy. You walk back in and instead of thinking you can't do algebra, you think you can and magically it all makes sense then right? Wrong. 

Upon deciding last week that I needed to count my blessings and change my attitude a series of more small, negative things occurred and I spent my Sunday having a breakdown.

I feel I'm being tested here. Can I overcome all these trials the way I expect my students, my children and my husband to overcome theirs?  Right now I'm failing and tonight that stops. I am a woman of strength and tremendous faith. I don't back away from challenges and I trust God in all I do. I am a woman of passion and grace and tonight I return to that woman. I have been lost but now am found. 

Framing Peace

This morning as I was scanning my Facebook feed, I saw a picture that gave me one of my ah-ha moments.

I am a person constantly striving to find peace. I pray, meditate, yoga, read...anything I can think of that might bring me peace.  And on a few occasions I've found it. That feeling that all is right with the world and that my heart can relax and just be happy.  

This is the picture I saw. My brain immediately said, "exactly." I am constantly saying, "that's not how it's supposed to work" or "life isn't supposed to be like this". While all of my "it's not supposed to" statements might be true in any number of unjust situations in the world, it isn't a peaceful way to think. 

I don't know that I have a grasp on what it means to process the world as it is yet; but, I do know that I need to begin to retrain my mind. I don't want to just sit back and let unjustly acts continue, however I believe I can process those better. Maybe by looking at life a little differently my mind will be open to creative thinking about how to solve some of the issues that we face instead of just being in a state of unrest with them.

"Go in peace and the peace of God be with you always."

Busy-ness

The start of school is always hectic for anyone with children. It's especially busy for those teachers that are also coaching.   It is also especially busy for those families that have placed their kids in extra-curricular activities. This year The Rev. and I are trying to manage my softball games and practices, Little Man's soccer games and practices, Little Man's Cub Scouts, Little Miss' dance, and The Rev.'s Wednesday night youth group. It's a lot! Planning out my weeks through September made me start to think about why we get our kids involved in so many activities and when do we draw the line. As an educator this also made me question what is more valuable...extra-curricular activities or homework to practice academic skills.

Why do we stick our children in extra-curricular activities? For some of us, it's because we were involved in dance, or cub scouts or gymnastics or basketball and we want our children to have those same experiences. For some of us, it's to help our kids make friends and maybe we can meet some new people along the way also. For some of us, it's the hope that our child might turn into the next "big deal." For some of us, it's to teach our kids teamwork.  

Research has shown time and time again that students involved in extra-curricular activities get in trouble with the law less frequently than their free after school counterparts but why is that? Is it truly because those students are learning an instrument or hitting a baseball? Or, is it simply the fact that they are under adult supervision when maybe at home they aren't? Isn't spending time showing your kids that you love them just as important?

Along those lines, students involved in extra-curricular events often do better in school. They realize that people depend on them so they can't be ineligible. These kids are practicing things they love or want to know about after school and then as an educator I (along with the other 6 teachers that kid has) send them home with 3-4 hours of homework each night and expect them to have mastered the concept overnight? I should be embracing the fact that these kids are developing passions and skills in things they are interested in, not burdening their life with extra work.

It's a delicate balancing act for me as a mom. I'm trying to build a strong family unit and allow my kids to learn things I can't teach them at home. I need to keep my purpose for extra-curricular activities in the fore-front of my mind for each time we are thinking about starting something. Is the time and learning involved in doing this activity more valuable than spending time together? Will I teach my child the same skills taught by this activity? What am I wanting my child to learn by participating?

There has to be balance. There has to be opportunity to do things outside the home and opportunity to grow as a family inside the home. We can't get so wrapped up in the busy-ness of letting our children get involved in EVERYTHING that we forget to teach them the value of family.

The Late Pastor Theologian

A sadness crept over my hometown this week as my former pastor The Rev. Dr. Gary Byrkit, who was still serving my home church, died unexpectedly.  The word spread quickly as heart after heart began aching with this creeping sadness.  Congregation members both current and former embraced and wept for their lost leader.

 As I began the process of mourning and grieving the loss of my pastor I was reminded of all of the ministers I have encountered throughout my life and there are many since I worked at the regional office for our church denomination. I found myself grouping ministers.  There was a group for ministers that were evangelically minded, focused on growing the church.  There was a group for ministers that were work-a-holics.  There was a group for ministers that were "Bible Thumpers".  There was a group for ministers that desperately needed some time off.  There was a group for the young, up and coming ministers.  The list went on and on as I thought about all of these people that choose to dedicate their profession to ministering the people of God.

Then there was a group for ministers like Gary...the ministers that I hold in the highest esteem.  These ministers are the elite.  They are pastors, shepherding their flock.  They are evangelists, caring for the community.  They are thoughtful, listening for God's direction.  They are theologians, rooting their ministry in the study of the nature of God.  They are patient, encouraging peace and calmness in turmoil. These ministers embody everything that I hold valuable in the leaders of a church.

After spending time doing this I allowed myself to think specifically of Gary.  I was surprised at how sore my heart was with sorrow.  One of my favorite memories of Gary is of him giving one of his "famous, Conversation with God" sermons.  During these sermons Gary would pull his desk into the sanctuary and pretend to be writing a sermon during which time God's voice, played by a fellow minister or congregation member, would talk to him.  I remember being young and hearing my parents discussing using gender inclusive language in certain aspects of the church worship.  A Sunday morning rolls around, and I walk into the sanctuary shocked to see a desk on the chancel.  Intrigue set in, and I began thinking that something cool might actually happen today. The sermon started with Gary "writing his sermon" and he was asking God some questions.  All of a sudden God answered back, and this time...God was a woman.

I remember Gary standing at the front of the church being presented with a stole on Children's Sabbath.  It was made from the handprints of the children of the church.  I can hear him getting choked up at the realization that his daughter's hand had been placed on the stole so that it would fall over his heart.

I remember walking out of the church every Sunday knowing that my pastor cared about me.  Gary passed the peace almost literally as he placed his large, gentle hand on my shoulder and wished me a good week.  Gary's soul was gentle and nurturing. Gary didn't get wrapped up in the societal changes of the church.  He remained true and authentic to his interpretation of God's desires for the church.  He was thoughtful and patient when he thought those desires might cause some turmoil.  I remember a ministry peer calling him crazy for wanting to make some changes to how ministry was done at my home church and then saying that if it worked however, it could completely change the philosophy of congregational ministry.  It worked.

At Gary's Celebration of Life service today a minister stated that what set Gary apart from the rest was that he was a pastor theologian.  That he both cared for, nurtured, and shepherded as well as studied and discerned the nature of God.  Gary taught by example.

As a minister's wife I say what sets Gary apart from the rest was his dedication to his family.  His day off was Tuesday.  It was his sacred day and people knew not to bother him on his day off.  On Tuesdays, you could find him doing any number of things with his family from breakfast with his wife, to spending a day at church camp with his children. It was refreshing to know that he was not one of the many ministers that chooses the job over the family and refreshing to know that the church respected him more for that choice.

Gary Byrkit will be remembered for years to come.  He became a part of the group of ministers that have set a new standard for ministry.  A standard for service to a congregation.  A standard for love to a family.  A standard for care of one's self.  I hope and pray that as people accept the calling of serving the church that they will be reminded of the Gary Byrkit's in the ministry.  That while in seminary they aren't just taught the lingo of ministry but the true meaning of ministry.

I pray for Gary's family, my home church and all of those that are hurting.  As our tears slowly fade and our hearts slowly mend may we feel Gary's hand on our shoulder again emitting God's peace and strength. Amen.

It Is Time

As the teacher wife of a part time youth minister and mother of two amazing kids, I am always looking for ways to make more money. This year is particularly bad. With a $75 raise in our health insurance for The Rev. and our kids, a $100 student loan payment that must now be made, and two kids wanting to be involved in activities, we are feeling the budget squeeze.

So, as I did 6 years ago when I began coaching, I am beginning another part time job. This time it is something even more out of my comfort zone than coaching sports I've never played. I am an independent Arbonne consultant.  

Network marketing has always terrified me. I've always gone to parties and thought man, I wish I could do that to make some extra cash but there is no way I know enough people. However, the newest regional Vice President has assured me that it is easier than I think.

I am terrified, I am anxious, and I am excited. I am terrified that I will fail, I am anxious about meeting new people, and I am excited that it might actually work.  How crazy would it be if I could actually spend a year of my life at home with my daughter and being my son's home room mom?  Ultimately when I think about my reasons they come down to something much more emotional than needing extra money or schedule conflicts...it all boils down to wanting to spend more time with my children. I've missed so much of their lives with work that my heart aches when I think about the loss.

I having been praying since making this decision that I can at least make enough money to quit the coaching job that takes me away from my babies every afternoon but in all reality I should be praying to make enough money to take time off from teaching to spend it with my kids.

I ask that you might pray for my adventure to go beyond well. Thank you!

Also, if you need any Arbonne products please contact me! ;-) 

Lifelong Friends

Lifelong friends. I read about them, watched movies about them, and gave up on them. I had friends in elementary school that were too cool for me by middle school, friends in middle school that moved away, and friends in high school that proved poor influences until my senior year. By this time my dream of a lifelong friend was gone.

Then I met the man of my dreams...and with him came his lifelong friend, Kit and his then girlfriend Jenn. We hung out together, finished college together. They were the best man at each other's weddings. Jenn and I were pregnant around the same time. We had boys first, girls second. It was what I had imagined...almost.

This week my dream extended a bit farther. I had always imagined dragging the kids on meetings with our families and things being just as awkward as they had been for me as a child when my parents drug us to see old friends. I imagined our kids playing together because there was no one else around but never having a true connection. I have been pleasantly surprised this week.

Kit's mom offered to do a Spanish camp for our boys. Each morning they would play and learn Spanish, have lunch and play some more. The return time became later and later as the week went on until the boys arranged a sleepover. I was so excited for this turn of events. You see my little man isn't always accepted by everyone his age just like most kids and to have the Con-Man, as my son called him, ask me if my son could spend the night almost brought tears to my eyes.  Everything continued throughout the week, sleepover and all and never once was there tension or fighting or spats. My son teared up at the realization that he wouldn't be seeing his friend every day next week as they return home. A similar story came from Jenn about her son. Only promises of getting together pacified the boys...promises that we must keep.

Today we had the culminating fiesta of Spanish camp and I was again amazed that the boys seemed to just click. Our girls likewise just seemed to click, playing tea party and creating music on the piano.

What a perfect day?! The joy I felt all day was almost overwhelming. Then a spontaneous and perfect picture taking opportunity prevented itself. My husband and Kit were sitting on the couch, my Little Man joined in followed quickly by the Con-Man, and the girls.

I was so overwhelmed with emotion. How perfect that two lifelong friends have had children that love each other? How perfect that no matter how long it is between seeing each other, every person in both families picks up like no time has passed at all. My prayer begins, "God help remind us to take time to nurture this relationship that Andy and Kit began, so that no matter what, our children know they are never alone. Amen."

Wonderful Worship

As a Reverend's wife I see everything within a church through different eyes.  I'm a protector. This means that I'm constantly thinking how does this affect my husband and his ability to do his job in a way that is pleasing to The Lord, himself, and his family.  There are a few special times throughout the year though that I am able to be drug out of this place of watchfulness into a place of worship.  Those times come when I watch my husband lead worship.

Leading worship is by far his best spiritual gift.  As he invites the spirit of God to be present among the worshippers you can always feel a shift in the air, a breeze blow across your face, or hear the sounds of nature pause for just a brief moment.  No matter where we are or what resources he has, The Rev. always has the ability to draw us to God's presence. This is the moment where I begin to feel a peacefulness flow over me as if saying, "it's okay to participate...not just watch today."

As he sings songs of praise to God, The Rev. is able to provide a place where people are free and comfortable to sing as they need or want to in praising God.  There are people who will lift their hands the sky or dance around. There are people who will sing extremely loud and off key or clap in rhythm to the beat of some other song.  No one cares. No one judges.  There are people who will have tears streaming down their face because a song has touched them in some way.  There are people that wrap their arms around each other is love, support, and solidarity.  In this moment I am free and my muscles relax and my voice rises to the heavens and heart ceases to be heavy with the sorrows, and pain of this world.

Prayers are said throughout these worship services that are thoughtful and give time for those people worshipping to be thoughtful and pray for their own personal needs.  A message is given that speaks to the hearts of the individuals and provides The Rev. with the chance to speak of Jesus' gospel. A time for him to call people into action, remind people to love others, to be kind to others, and to take care of others.  In this moment I am encouraged and my spirit is renewed...I feel ready to take on the world (or at least start another week of work).

As we come to the time of offering and communion everyone is welcome to gather with him. No one feels ashamed that they may not be able to afford to give monetarily because they know that offering their spiritual gifts is just as valued. Everyone feels the importance and value placed upon communion as they are served and serve others. In this moment we are again brought to a place of community with those around us and the excitement in the air becomes tangible.

Then we are dismissed with song and good words of encouragement so that all are ready to spread God's love in whatever shape that may take throughout the next week.  And we leave with smiles and tears and the overwhelming knowledge that God loves us no matter what we do and no matter how imperfect we feel we are. In this moment I can let go of my perfectionist, OCD obsessions and just be present and happy.

It is a talent...no a gift to be able to know what a room full of people will need from worship and to be able to draw them into the spirit of The Lord.  It is a gift to be able to help people of all backgrounds with many different personal issues and struggles all to a central place of community and love.  It is a gift to feel the emotions in a room and adjust a worship to meet the needs of those in worship.  My husband has this gift and I am overwhelmed with joy and peace every time I get to experience him in his element...in the middle of God's presence. This is one of my favorite things.

Mexican Lasagna Recipe

This one received not only one "wow that's good" from my husband but two and a "you should post that recipe on your blog." That made me think briefly about how long it's been since I've blogged and how much life has changed and I decided my blog needed to change as well...thus begins The Reverend's Wife with what I love most...Mexican food!

Mexican Lasagna Recipe
2 cans of Frito's Bean Dip
1 block of cream cheese
1 package of taco seasoning
1 eight ounce sour cream
1 package of ranch dip mix
2 cans of black beans
2 cans of corn
2 cans of enchilada sauce
1 package of oven ready lasagna noodles
1 package of shredded cheese (I use colby jack)
1/4 a stick of butter

Step 1:
     Mix the first 8 ingredients in a pot cook on medium until everything can be well mixed.
Step 2:
     Spray a 9x13 baking dish with EVOO spray and set oven to 350 degrees.
Step 3:
     Place a layer of lasagna noodles in baking dish.  Top with mixture from step 1.
Step 4:
     Sprinkle with cheese and place 6 small pats of butter on top.
Step 5:
     Repeat steps 3 & 4 until you reach the top of your dish or run out of mixture or noodles.
Step 6:
     Cover with foil and place in oven for 30 minutes.
Step 7:
     Take off foil and cook for an additional 15 minutes (I like mine kind of crispy on top so I bumped up the temperature to 375.
Step 8:
      Take out and let set for at least 15 minutes before eating. (This part will be torture but well worth the salivating mouths in the end)

I hope you all enjoy it as much as we do!